When Friendly gets a bit too Much 

While everything we use—from soaps to computers, shampoos to cars—claims to be ‘user-friendly’, the only commodity being truly misused is friendship. Abused, used up, used and discarded.

I bought a can of room freshener and on it was the legend: Ozone friendly. This touched me to the core and as I sprayed jasmine (or was it sandalwood) around the place, I thought warmly of all those people who had researched long and hard to ensure that aerosol cans did not harm the upstairs and good old ozone did not say, uh oh, here comes another salvo and cringe with fear.

I cried, it was so heartwarming. The word ‘friendly’ has now become very common as a selling point. It is evidently indicative of the rampant hostility in the world around us that even lavender canisters have to be sold as old chums.

Every now and then you read about some soldier or civilian being killed by friendly fire.

That must be immensely comforting for the next of kin. Awfully sorry about your son but the enemy didn’t get him, his buddies did, that’s a thought to warm you when you lie alone at night and wet your pillow with salty tears. Someday I would like to meet the person, who thought up this one. Bullets piercing the air, grenades going crump, mortars whoofing as they arc towards the foxhole, artillery barrages shaking the earth and as he topples the soldier says, no problem, guys, one of ours, friendly fire, way to go…and off he goes.

My computer is user-friendly. It says so in the manual. In bold letters. What worries me is why any machine should be made that isn’t friendly. What do they do in R and D? Sit there and say, okay chaps let’s make a computer that couldn’t give a toss for friendship and all that sentimental slop, this is a lone wolf product, it marches to its own drummer and its mouse will walk all over you. Yes, yes, yes, chirrup the underlings, what a great idea, it’s so much more adult and sophisticated than all this downmarket, amateur user-friendly stuff, who needs it?

In fact, so much of this user-friendly hype is doing the rounds that I am getting a little suspish about this label myself. Ironic, isn’t it, that while everything else is getting onto this trip including soap, shampoos and detergents, the only commodity being truly misused is friendship. Abused, used up, used and discarded.

In fact, all we have is interests where once we had friends. Think of it. You have friends for animals- Crocodiles, Seals, the Blue Whale! Only humans seem to have no time for themselves. Ever heard of a Friends of the Human Race society?

And as I poof poof my ozone-friendly can, I look at my user-friendly computer and my comrade- in-arms music system and emotion overwhelms me again. What if we fight, what if we have a misunderstanding, what if my computer stops and sulks, how do I make peace?

There is a simple answer to it. Go look for something that is more user-friendly and have the crusty old one replaced.