Armed And Dangerous: The Selfie-Stick Wielding Tourist

The holiday season is upon us and no doubt many of us will be traveling far and wide to support the global tourism and hospitality industry, as is our solemn duty at this time of the year. Everywhere we go, we will encounter a unique mutation of Homo Erectus: the selfie-stick wielding tourist.

I saw it for the first time in the hands of an Asian man in front of the Notre Dame in Paris in the summer of 2014. I stopped and stared for a moment, not knowing what it was. The only thought that popped into my befuddled brain was: Geiger counter. I don’t know why. I continued to stare till I was gently and sternly admonished to stop staring at strangers. I might as well have been told I was gaping at an amorous couple, considering the implied lack of decency on my part.  At the time, I had not even heard the term selfie-stick, much less that it would go on to be one of the top 25 inventions of 2014 according to Time magazine.

It was loathe at first sight.

I always knew some tourists – especially Asians – tend to be rather self-absorbed, more interested in taking pictures and videos of the sights than in actually taking it in with their own eyes. But this one took it one step further – the “narcissi-stick”, as it has come to be known among other things, makes the owner completely oblivious to his or her surroundings. I have since seen this device in the hands of people across the world – from a group of young Thais at a restaurant table in Bangkok to Japanese tourists on a beach in Hawaii, in complete disregard for fellow humans in the vicinity.

I have come to observe some defining characteristics of selfie-stick owners:

—Selfie-stick wielders are an intrepid lot: they will go to any length. Any arm’s length, that is.

—Selfie-stick owners operate in a force field of their own: they force others in their field of vision to get out of the way.

—Like many golfers, they are great putters: they’re greatly off-putting to everyone around them.

—They are constantly on the go: the GoPro, I mean.

—They will stick at it till they get the perfect shot. Real selfie-sticklers, in other words.

At this point, it is appropriate to allow Wayne Fromm to enter the picture frame. Wayne who? Fromm where? You may ask. Well, he is the one who comes closest to being identified as the inventor of the selfie-stick. A Canadian (eh?) who has built a profitable business over the last ten years selling millions of his design of the modern selfie-stick, he is the first to admit he is not the one who carries this great mantle on his shoulders. The credit apparently goes to an engineer from the Minolta camera company who built a version in the eighties that never gained popularity for some reason.

At least, that’s the story I’ve heard, and you’re welcome to stick with it. Or not.

The fact is that the modern selfie-stick is undoubtedly the descendant of a long lineage of a highly versatile personal accessory – the stick. I looked deep into our history as human beings to find the clues – into a giant abyss called Google Search.

The stick: We know that Homo Sapiens have been carrying sticks with them through the ages. We know that the first cold-blooded murder of one primate by another was the result of a strong blow from a stick. We know that a certain spiritual leader used a stick to command the Red Sea to part down the middle. We know that orchestra conductors use these objects to tame large groups of musicians to follow their tune- or else. We even have a 20th Century political tool called Big Stick diplomacy (“speak softly and carry a big stick”), attributed to a turn of the century POTUS. The list of applications goes on. For sheer versatility, no one can beat the stick (ouch).

The selfie: Let us not forget to give the selfie its due credit. For thousands of years, Vedic sages from the Indian subcontinent have been urging mankind to look within. The more recent Greek traveling philosopher Pausanias came up with a more pithy and memorable “Know Thyself”, meant to be a cautionary note to those whose “boasts exceed what they are”. It was therefore entirely appropriate that with the advent of the smartphone with a camera, the ability to turn the focus on oneself – literally- had to make one giant evolutionary step.

So there you have it. Man has been provided a modern-day tool to satisfy his long-standing desire to know himself.

Notwithstanding historical precedent and the deep philosophical yearnings, Man has had to bear the inevitable backlash of late to his right to carry a stick. Museums, amusement parks, visitor attractions and landmarks have now routinely started to ban selfie-sticks.  You want to go see Mickey Mouse? Sorry, pal. Corporate policy, have to stick with it.

But the selfie-stick man is fighting back – literally. A Russian company has started offering self-defense classes to selfie-stick owners. The reason? Carrying a selfie-stick amounts to broadcasting one’s status as a tourist, and attracts unwelcome attentions from robbers, muggers, and other such anti-socials. I wonder when they will offer selfie-defense classes to the rest of us.

So, as you pack your bags and get ready to head to warm (or cool, depending on where you live) climes this holiday season, remember to watch out for the selfie-stick figures. They are armed, and they can be dangerous.

(Paddy Padmanabhan lives in Chicago and writes about culture, among other things. He is a huge fan of mob movies)