Good Enough to knock you off my Facebook

Some very valid  reasons to obliterate you from my Facebook account.

Here they are:

If you keep rubbing in the fact that you did not travel cattle class. I do not want to see your boarding pass or you in a damn first class seat. Worse, I don’t want to see you munching canapes and having bubbly in the lounge pre-departure. Give me a break. I am happy for you but I do not care to vicariously enjoy watching you enjoy yourself.

By the same token, get over it. If you staying at the George Cinq, have a blast, just don’t paste pictures of the hotel room, why would it be of any interest to me? And i don’t want to see the view from your hotel balcony.

Do not share your travel itinerary hour by hour. If you are driving to Gstaad, keep driving. And do not stand next to some famous global icon and send it to me with a message saying ‘missing you guys here at the northern lights.’ Yeah, sure you are.

If you constantly keep informing me that you want Candy Crush lives and endurance of survival for other games that I do not play and you won’t stop sending those reminders. I do not play the game and I don’t give a toss in the wind about how many sugar plums you have crushed.

If you keep sending me pictures of a party you had to which you did not invite me (thank goodness) but have a blast, just don’t pass them on to me. It is your party, knock yourself out but please do not share it.

If you belong to that tribe which believes the whole world is fascinated by their change of picture profile and it ranks up there with being promoted to CEO or breaking a leg. I don’t want to see your new avatar each week or even earlier. Why do people think that changing their profile picture is worthy of international attention?

Nothing is more annoying than people who have a kid as their profile picture or a rose or some obscure painting. It is not cute or fey or anything but silly.

Now you love your family and I am happy for you but please don’t share aunts and uncles with me.

Your status symbols leave me stone cold. Like stone cold. Your new car, house, diamond necklace, yacht, whatever, don’t get all coy about it, like everyone has a yacht.

If you spent time with a celebrity, stick it on your wall, I don’t want to see it unless you can be funny about it. But if you think you are prospecting for envy, try elsewhere.

If you keep sending forwards of cartoons and pithy stories and anecdotes and those terrible jokes to 422 people and I am one of them. Shoo, go away, I don’t want to read it and I don’t want to forward it to 20 people. Chain letter encouragement should be a crime. Never mind the good luck, I will not send it to 20 people and upset them.

You on a VIP table stuffing your face at a dinner, receiving an award or giving one or being declared the best anything. If at all, let others do it for you. You look flipping arrogant on stage clutching some ugly trophy (you probably paid for) thanking the world…it isn’t the Oscar, you know.

Poetry. You want to read poetry, be my guest, knock yourself out, lie under a tree in a hammock and read and write all the poetry you want, just don’t send it to me. Especially when it is stolen from someone else.

People who want to tell you to LIKE articles on death, disaster, tragedy and people suffering from incurable diseases. Please stop. LIKE IS A VERY POOR WAY OF SAYING YOU ARE SORRY. Until the FACEBOOK people find another option, desist.