Hindi Films 2014: It Could Have Been Worse

The height of shamelessness, the unbroken reign of the Khans, and—OK, dance, Basanti, dance.

What should Hindi film viewers remember 2014 for?

Well, the bad news first.

1. Can lyrics get any more vulgar?

Lyrics of certain songs were a clear indication that songwriting has touched new lows. Take Ho saari night besharmi ki height from Main Tera Hero. Abridged and roughly translated, the words go: Let the whole night be the height of shamelessness/ There’s me, there’s you/ Let’s dim-dim the lights.

Aashiq mizaaj is an Urdu term that can be construed in many ways—from romantic to drunkenly boastful to plain sexually excited. When it’s the title of a song from The Shaukeens (which film incidentally also has a supposedly jivey song titled Haan main alcoholic hoon!), the connotation can be figured from the rest of the lines: I failed in the university/ Because I was too busy lusitng/ Everyone knows that my pyjama strings are loose/ Even today I’m busy lusting.

G Phaad Ke from Happy Ending —you know what that means, just like everyone knew what Bhaag DK Bose DK bhaagin Delhi Belly, the 2011 film produced by Aamir Khan, was insinuating (and if you don’t, that’s good for you).

The film Fugly contributed Good in bed: O baby, I don’t have money/ I don’t have a big house/ I don’t have a limousine/ What I have is/ I’m good in bed baby, I’m Hall of Fame/ I’m good in bed baby, I’m king of the game/ I’m good in bed baby, I’m the Iron Man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKFyf9SGR8I

We could go on…

How many incompetent lead debuts can we take?

A short—and nowhere near comprehensive—list for 2014:

Hasleen Kaur: Karle Pyar Karle

Daisy Shah: Jai Ho

Ariana Ayam: Heartless

Surveen Chawla: Hate Story 2

Tiger Shroff: Heropanti

Vijender Singh (yes, the champion boxer): Fugly

Armaan Jain: Lekar Hum Deewana Dil

Al right, now, the rest of the news:

The new club is the Rs 150-crore club

A few years ago, very few films managed it to the Rs 100-crore club. When 3 Idiots went past the Rs 200-crore mark in the Indian market in 2009, the industry sat up. In 2014, medium and small budget films like 2 States and Ek Villainwent past the Rs 100-crore mark.

The new benchmark is Rs 150 crore.

Rohit Shetty’s Singham Returns, which had Ajay Devgn beating up bad guys in Mumbai after he had finished with Goa in the original Singham—missed it by a—well, given the numbers involved—a whisker. Its net collections in India according to various estimates touched around Rs 140 crore. Bang Bang, a remake of the highly forgettable Tom Cruise-starrer Knight and Day, with Hrithik Roshan, netted Rs 40 crore more.

Shah Rukh Khan’s Happy New Year managed to go past the Rs 200-crore mark. But fell short of Salman Khan’s Kickwhich netted Rs 230 crore. PK has surpassed Kick to become the leading earner this year, and it is not even two weeks old at the box office.

2. The Khans rule

The three Khans, all of whom are a year short of 50, haven’t slowed down. Each of the three blockbusters which netted more than Rs 200 crore had one of them. If anything, 2014 saw a tense battle for supremacy (while all three categorically denied even an atom of competition existing between them).

One Khan marketed his film very hard, one Khan shouted (very softly, and measuredly) that he was “different”, and one Khan just showed up on screen in his usual persona. It was business as usual.

3. More woman-centred films

Of course, there weren’t any big-budget woman-centric films. However, 2014 did give us a few small-budget films revolving around a woman , and some of them well-made too.

Kangana Ranaut, who now has to be acknowledged as an actor with a really courageous spirit (see her 2013 TV interview here with Anupama Chopra) starred in two of these films.Queen clicked commercially and was critically acclaimed as well. Revolver Rani failed on both fronts.

Bobby Jasoos, which bet everything on Vidya Balan, recognised—rightly or wrongly—in recent years as the only female actor who can carry (or more realistically, the only female actor who the financiers are willing to invest in, in the absence of a male crowd-puller), failed to impress, in spite of all its palpably good intentions.

Mardaani had Rani Mukherjee as a tough cop. Mary Kom saw Priyanka Chopra as—what do you describe her as?—Mary Kom. Hrishikesh Mukherjee’s classic Khoobsurat was redone with Sonam Kapoor in the central role and a lewd song exhorting rail engines to huff and puff faster and harder.

Gulaab Gang was hyped because of the coming together of former rivals Madhuri Dixit and Juhi Chawla, and was trashed by both critics and viewers.

And the trend that has nothing to do with cinema per se:

4. Selfies and star photographs

The selfie rules. And 2014 saw film stars playing courtiers and ambassadors. Decked up, unkempt, sleepy: fans who follow their favourites, have got more more stuff to follow their favourites with, and spread the word/ picture/ whatever.

India doesn’t have a dynamic—if that is the right word—paparazzi culture (Completely irrelevant trivia: the word “paparazzi” derives from the Federico Fellini film La Dolce Vita, where the society gossip reporter played by Marcello Mastroianni is accompanied by a photographer called Papparazzo) . But when stars themselves offer photo-ops in full public view, news photographers cannot afford to miss them. One photograph marketed as a sign of revival of friendship showed foes and professional rivals Salman and Shah Rukh kissing the former’s sister Arpita to bless her during her sangeet ceremony. Another one had Amitabh Bachchan kissing his wife Jaya during an awards function.

When Virat Kohli blew a kiss at his girlfriend Anushka Sharma in a match against Sri Lanka, and the actor seemed to have been taken aback by his demonstrative demeanour, the media juxtaposed these photographs for visual impact.

So, 2015…

More films will cross the Rs 150-crore and even the Rs 200-crore mark. Since candid photographs click, stars as well as the media will explore the possibilities and capitalize on them.  Expect “made in India” Kim Kardashians and Warhol’s 15 minutes of fame, except that the fame will now be measured in “shares” and “likes” and seconds.

Will we have better films? Who is to judge? Beedi jalai le. (Though that’s from a 2009 film)