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Two Weeks After Video Of Her Child Stuck On Terrace Went Viral, Chennai Techie Commits Suicide: Who Is To Blame?

  • Fixing responsibility for the death of the Chennai techie mother, who has taken out her own life, may not be a straightforward exercise. In general, death by suicide is a grey zone. 

K BalakumarMay 22, 2024, 04:06 PM | Updated 03:35 PM IST
We will never know why the techie took the extreme step. (Representative image).

We will never know why the techie took the extreme step. (Representative image).


The infant was miraculously saved two weeks back.

The mother morbidly succumbed two days back.

In between the two, lies a tortuous tale making sense of which isn't easy.

The mother of a baby girl, who was recently rescued by neighbours after getting stuck on the edge of an apartment sunshade, has taken out her own life.  Ramya, the lady in question, an IT employee, died by suicide at her parents’ house at Karamadai in Coimbatore.

The clip of that infant straggling and struggling on the sunshade of the apartment complex in Avadi, Chennai had gone viral, as these things tend to do on social media platforms. Though the baby was safely rescued, the images triggered off a typical outrage tsunami. Plenty of accusatory fingers were pointed at the hapless mother.

As it happens, two weeks later she has died by suicide, accusatory fingers are being pointed at, well, those who were pointing accusatory finger earlier. 

The death of Ramya is being attributed to those who had — to use a term that the modern generation is so partial to — gaslighted her into probably believing that she was the one responsible for the scary moments of agony that her baby endured. 

Now, god forbid, if someone from this group does something drastic, the accusatory fingers will change direction in a jiffy. 

Social media is a theatre of absurd. Really.

Ramya And Postpartum Depression

Reporting on suicide is a delicate job. Things are never in black and white in these matters. Ramya, many news reports point out, was going through postpartum depression. In any case, most modern mothers are already in a sense of guilt for various reasons.

Many of them unfortunately feel that they are inadequate as a mother, because the other roles they have to perform in their lives don't pause their demands. 

On top of this, Ramya had mortification of seeing her child literally teeter on the edge of death. In any case, much before that regrettable incident, she was said to be in depression. Things seem to have snowballed in her life in an inopportune manner, and she is no longer with us. 

But who is to be held responsible for the death of a young mother? The social media, and the mainstream media which unthinkingly amplifies whatever happens there, have a lot to ponder over. But affixing blame on them would not be right.   

Even though recent studies suggest a correlation between increased online activity and suicidal ideation, particularly among those who are vulnerable, it is still a grey zone.

Experts say social media algorithms can create echo chambers where  under-pressure individuals are further pushed to the brink. But we are not sure whether this is in Ramya's case. We really don't know whether she was consuming social media content or not.

We really have no understanding about what those around her did in the days since that perilous event involving her young baby happened. But even assuming that they blamed her, is it right to accuse them of having a hidden hand in Ramya's death. That would also be a slippery slope.

Philosophy And Suicide

Suicide, the act of taking one's own life, has been a subject of philosophical contemplation for centuries. The question whether life is worth living in a world devoid of any meaning or rationality is something that has kept thinkers active for centuries.

Many cultures and philosophies hold the belief that human life is inherently valuable and sacred. But there is  also a school of thought that if someone is experiencing unbearable suffering and sees no path forward, they should have the right to end their life.

Utilitarianism, for instance, which focuses on maximising overall happiness and well-being, might consider suicide permissible if it causes less suffering than keeping the person alive. 

However, it also raises questions about accurately measuring suffering and the potential for unforeseen consequences. There is also existentialism that emphasises individual freedom and responsibility in creating meaning in life. Suicide, in this view, can be seen as an ultimate act of freedom, an escape from an absurd world.  

The concept of free will is a central issue in the debate. But can someone in a state of despair or mental illness truly make a free and rational choice to end their life? Some thinkers acknowledge that suffering can be a transformative experience, leading to growth and empathy. 

While suicide is decidedly negative idea, the thought of suicide itself isn't so.

German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche posited that, "The thought of suicide is a powerful comfort: it helps one through many a dreadful night."

It is a great insight from one of the original thinkers, who understood human minds and also what a new morning (after a dreadful night) can perhaps bring in its wake. But Nietzsche also dangerously glamourised suicide. "The man who does away with himself," Nietzsche wrote in The Twilight of the Idols, "performs the most estimable of deeds."

As you can see, the philosophy of suicide offers no easy answers. It's a complex issue with moral, ethical, and existential dimensions. But understanding these diverse perspectives can help foster informed discussions and potentially prevent tragedies. 

Anyway, what philosophers failed to crack, social media, with its reductive and lowest common denominator behaviour is only going to make it worse. 

We will never truly know why Ramya took that extreme step. That is as much a tragedy as her death itself. 

(National suicide prevention toll-free lifeline: 1056)

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