Dirty Dancing At Laluwood

At the new Bihar government’s oath-taking ceremony, Lalu Prasad brought in raunchy dancers to be openly groped by RJD enthusiasts. Now that’s true freedom!

First of all, there’s Dirty Dancing and then there’s “Dirty” Dancing…Do you catch my drift? In the first kind, a sexy, suave, and sensational Patrick Swayze literally and metaphorically swept women off their feet. The iconic movie with its iconic ‘dirty dancing’ dance-lift was the rage of the 80s.

That, of course, was Hollywood! But then the world discovered another decade and another “wood” (pun, most certainly, is erected and intended)—the 1990s, which belonged to a man who was going to rewrite the script. Attention all crew, cast and crowd! I want complete silence on the sets and the streets! It is now time for some Dirty Dancing “LALU ISHTYLE”!

LIGHTS…CAMERA…ACTION…

[The scene we are shooting today is: THE CLIMAX: Dirty Dancing at the Oath-Taking Ceremony]

The swearing-in ceremony at Patna on 20th November stood out for three reasons, each better than the best.

1. WhenTej Pratap Yadav—the light in Lalu’s lantern—who turned 28 on the 21st, was asked by the Governor to repeat his oath, because he made two mistakes while reading out his two-minute bit. Well, no biggie! It was just a case of misplaced pronunciation—far better than any misplaced trust I might have had in the future of this administration. [Which I don’t, by the way, in case my tone and tenor suggested otherwise.]
2. When ‘Mufflerman’ Arvind Kejriwal got too close for comfort to ‘Charaman’ Lalu Yadav. As the social media erupted in glee at their embarrassing embrace, I was left wondering if this pose exposed the imposter!
3. As the swearing-in ceremony went on inside a packed Gandhi Maidan, RJD’s creme-de-la-creme—fille de joies—gyrated to titillating music, each pirouette accompanied by a “newly-licensed” licentious cheer from the RJD supporters. After all, ‘Bihar Mein Bahar Hai’. [If you don’t believe me… check out the pictures]

While the first two incidents seemed to draw the attention of the media and was widely covered and reported, the third event was met with surprising impassivity. When I quizzed a few of my local friends from both print and electronic media, their response was rather brusque, ‘So, what’s new? Lalu is known for organising such dance parties for his supporters. People need entertainment.’

As I looked at the photographs again—bile rising in my throat—I was left wondering if this was indeed defined as entertainment? [Perhaps, only in Bihar!]

When Charles Dickens penned his classic, A Tale of Two Cities, he set it in London and Paris. Little did he know that one day, we would all be dumb-struck by the irony that is this country…A tale of two cities indeed!

On the one hand, our over-enthusiastic Censor Board—under the tutelage of the moral police—forbids any lip-lock without a tick-tock in the latest James Bond film, our politicians on the other hand are busy distributing fresh meat for their beasts…The King of the Jungle, after all, can’t let his subjects starve!

While you may think that one entices a voter by appealing to his brain or even his heart, the smart and suave politicians of Bihar know that their target is located slightly south of the region—basically the “Netherlands of the male anatomy”. [Then again, ordinary morality is reserved for ordinary people like you and me…the same rules do not apply to the King and his Kongs.]  

The still pictures in fact reminded me of the legendary Hollywood actress Mae West, whose death anniversary incidentally was yesterday (22nd November 1980…of course, this has nothing to do with these images). It was she who had once famously said: ‘Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.’ And as I once again see the men groping the dancer’s Netherlands, I am reminded of the Jungle where the man is free to answer the primeval call of the wild!

You see, Bihar is a tolerant state. There is no censorship! Dirty Dancing is not debasement and debauchery; for us, it is a way of life!